How To Deal With Naysayers In Your Life: 5 Uncommon Tips

How do we deal with the naysayers?

How to ignore people who never believe in us, never encourage us, but quite the opposite – they try to convince us that what we wish and strive for would never happen…because we are not good enough.

I have a lot of experience in that field, and I wish I could tell you, “Just ignore them, and that’s it!”

However, that would be unrealistic, and I bet you already tried it. If it were that easy to ignore the people who don’t believe in us, we would never have to discuss such issues…

Because the people who ignore and discourage us the most are usually the closest ones to us. They might assume that being part of our family or friends’ circle automatically entitles them to give opinions on how we live our lives. 

They are not!

Other times, complete strangers would come and share their thoughts on our capabilities, leaving us feeling miserable and hopeless.

And we shouldn’t listen to them… But we do. 

And we think. 

And we overthink. 

And we doubt ourselves. 

And we stop trying as hard as we did. We see cracks in our plans and dreams. We find reasons not to pursue them, and we slowly give up.

How I did it!

I’ve got more than a few examples of this happening in my life, but I will choose the biggest one to give you.

Nine years ago, I started my blogging journey with zero knowledge and a burning passion for doing something different with my life. 

I loved writing, and my boyfriend (now my husband) convinced me to start a blog and write my thoughts in it. He said it is possible to create a business that could bring in some good money. 

At the same time, it was fulfilling one of my biggest dreams – to write and share my words with more and more people.

I come from a country with the following mentality: If I can’t touch it, it doesn’t exist!

With that said, the moment I decided to stay home and focus on writing and blogging, all of my relatives (and I mean absolutely everyone) decided I was a failure and that I had to find a “real job” that actually paid the bills. 

I wasn’t making any money with my writing for over two years into blogging, and we were living on my husband’s income at that time.

My family was shaming me for being dependent on a man. 

My mother has always believed that being a financially independent woman is the most important thing in this world, and I am not saying it isn’t. 

But every few weeks, I would be asked whether I was making any money or planning to get a job. 

The mental pressure was so nerve-cracking that I developed anxiety and was ready to quit blogging at any point. The only thing that kept me going was my husband’s belief that I can and will make it happen.

Long story short, I did it. 

I found a way to make very good money blogging; we moved to my husband’s home country and lived a full year on the blog’s income. 

Currently, I have a second blog, have hired an assistant to help with the work, and have hired a writer to help with content creation for a third blog that’s in the making.

I am not sure how I presented the situation. I am not showing off, nor do I believe I am an exception.

I can assure you that I couldn’t just ignore the negative people who didn’t believe in what I do. 

In fact, when a negative opinion comes from the closest person, you believe in it before the sentence ends.

And yet, that isn’t an excuse to stop doing what you do. It isn’t a reason to never pursue your dreams.

5 Ways To Deal With Naysayers

Here are a few shifts I had to go through to handle the criticism and the disbelief.

People see the world differently

It’s not about them not believing in me, but about seeing the world’s possibilities and opportunities differently.

What I perceive as possible and doable could be unthinkable to someone else. Needless to say, we all measure what’s possible and what’s not based on our belief system. And many people have been raised to believe in the old stigma – you wake up, get dressed, and go to work, the rest is called a hobby.

But the world has changed. If someone can make money online by yapping in front of the camera for 10 minutes every day (I’m exaggerating how easy it is to be an influencer, but you get the point), then I can do the same by typing behind the computer. That is my belief system.

What’s yours?

Other people’s opinions aren’t something you can or will control. 

By trying to change their opinion, you waste precious energy that could be redirected to doing what you wish to do.

I used to spend hours explaining to my mother how possible it is to make money online, how well some people are doing, and how many people start with nothing and become financially independent in a year.

Do you know when she believed me? When I told her I have a $6000 payment coming my way from doing “the not-so-real job”. Yes, she is still “if I can’t touch it, it doesn’t exist”-type of person, but at least she left me to do my thing in peace.

You are an adult, and you are not entitled to listen to that sh&t! 

Okay, that would be the first and last time you will actually see me using this word, but if you wish me to be honest with you, that’s the exact word I must use.

You can always cut the conversation, politely ask not to discuss the topic, or leave the room or end the phone call; that’s it.

Someone is going to be offended, and for the first time, that won’t be you. 

It’s okay. Standing up for yourself (in a polite manner) isn’t a crime, and you should do it at least once. The feeling is so incredible that you might even repeat it.

Use their doubt as fuel

Nothing can make you prouder of yourself than proving you can do something others thought impossible. Use people’s doubts and discouragement as fuel for your dreams. Think of the day they will look at you with shock on their faces because you managed to achieve “the impossible” (for them).

Listen, it might sound a bit rude and immature to use someone’s doubts as motivation, but if it works for you, do it. It most certainly worked for me, and any type of hype up is always welcome.

Stop explaining your dreams

Finally, they can’t be naysayers if they don’t know about it.

My husband and I stayed quiet while buying our house (just this year). It was an expensive investment, and most people around us would’ve voiced negative opinions about buying it. Some of those people would’ve also advised us to drop that dream and go for something that better fits our “lifestyle”.

We decided we didn’t need those opinions, and because they were sure to come, we also kept quiet about buying it. We shared the good news two weeks before we got the keys to the house.

And I mean, we told no one, not our friends and certainly not our families. Yeah, I have zero regrets about it, and we will be doing this again when working on our next project.

To Summarise

There are so many ways to deal with people’s negative opinions on you and how you live your life. None of them involves convincing those people that they are wrong and you are right. No one is willing to admit a mistake. More likely, the situation will worsen.

Before I leave you digest everything from this post, I wish I could give you a virtual hug and tell you this: If your heart whispers that you must pursue a specific career, lifestyle, a person, a dream… You must listen to it.

We have a song in my country that says, “One day your heart will make you pay for everything you didn’t do…” Don’t ignore yourself and your happiness for someone else’s amusement.

Live this life like you own it! Because you do!