Managing your negative emotions and coping with your life in a better way
Anger. Frustration. Annoyance. Sadness. Anxiety. Guilt. Jealousy. Self-blame. Despair. Fear.
Negative emotions.
We create them. We hate them. We fight them. They bring us down.
We fight them more. We win. They go away. Temporarily.
Until they come back, and the fight starts all over again.
What does negative emotion mean?
Negative emotion is any emotion that brings you down, stops you from fulfilling your goals and, takes away from your natural feelings of joy and a peaceful state of mind. Negative emotion works on your self-esteem and self-image by making you feel unhappy with who you are or the life you feel.
Here’s the thing.
We live in a world where having negative emotion is like having a morning coffee.
We often wake up with negativity already in place, hating the clothes we wear, the job we have, the house we live in, the car we drive, the traffic, the boss, the colleagues, the neighbours…
We go through our days feeling guilty about having these type of emotions which does nothing more but bring more negativity.
We yell at our partners for not being who we want them to be. We chase our kids and give them order after order in the hope that we’ll manage to fix them and give them opportunities we believe we didn’t have…
But every time we frown at that cheeky neighbour, at our demanding spouse, at the naughty kids, at the frustrating traffic… we slowly lose more and more control.
Because negativity can’t bring happiness, and happiness stays only where Love lives.
What triggers negative emotions?
I believe that any negative emotion comes from a place of lack.
That need to have more, to possess more, to do more, to be more… All that makes us feel less.
We study as much as possible so we could get the best job position and make more money than our parents did.
We are thought that money is never enough, that we should always aim for the bigger house, for the newer car, for the higher position, for more clients, more clothes, more friends, more food, more and more of everything.
And while there’s nothing wrong in striving to improve ourselves… I can’t get rid of the feeling that “more” isn’t going to make us happy. Because human nature is used to enjoy the new and shiny thing for a while and then to ask for more.
That creates a constant feeling of lack and “not enough” that eats us from inside out.
The hunger to buy, to get, to build bigger, to choose newer, to be the best gets us to absolutely nowhere.
All we do is end up having it and when we get our five minutes of joy… we ask for more again.
We call it “getting better”, but it’s in fact “getting too much”.
How to deal with negative emotions?
So, how to process negative emotions? How to deal with them in a healthy way that doesn’t get us in physical and emotional danger?
Until now, we talked that negative emotions are a feeling of lack.
How do we remove this feeling of lack?
It’s very simple.
Any negative emotion disappears at the moment we realise we have all we need and that all we have is enough.
In that special moment, we can step back, relax and allow Love to enter us and the world around us.
In that special moment, when we know we have all we need, we’ll stop noticing the neighbour, our spouse will smile at us and hug us, the kids will be… just cheerful little wonders, the job will be an opportunity for personal growth and the traffic will be just that – a bunch of cars with people trying to get home.
In that special moment… we will be ourselves.
3 Ways to invite Love and deal with negative emotions
I’d like you to think of these three things – three ways to increase the presence of Love in your life.
Gratitude
I don’t like using the verb “invite more Love” as Love is already here, around us. But there are some ways to help yourself see that Love and Gratitude is one of the most powerful ways.
Gratitude has changed my life in so many different ways. I use it as a manifestation tool and as a tool to see what’s already in my life.
Through Gratitude, I found out that I already have everything I need to be who I want to be. In fact, Gratitude helped me realise I am already that person, and all I need to do is release the fears and allow myself to stay that person.
Forgiveness
One of the hardest things to do is to forgive.
In fact, forgiveness and especially self-forgiveness is like a bottomless pit of emotions. The moment we think we got over something, the memory of it attacks us all over again.
But if you’d like to release negative emotions in a healthy way, forgiveness is an essential part of it.
Give Love
Love is light the light of a candle. Even if it lights up another thousand of candles, its shine is going to stay equally strong.
Love doesn’t have limits, and it never ends. So, no matter how much of it we give away, we’ll always have more and more.
Give love, and you will feel its power growing within you.
Three things to remember on negative emotions
In conclusion, there are three things I’d like you to remember about negative emotions:
1. Negative emotions don’t exist. We created them at some point, but they were never originally in our life. That means we can let them go.
2. Never identify yourself with negative emotion. You aren’t your anger, and you aren’t your guilt nor your fears. That is an illusion you invited and decided to believe in.
3. It’s OK to express your negative emotion in a way that doesn’t harm anyone. But after that, when the steam is gone, analyse that negative emotion and treat it with love. The moment love enters the negative emotion will leave.
My main negative emotion is Fear. I often fear what people think of me, how they see me and do I live up to their expectations. I work hard on releasing that negative emotion back to where it came from – to the nothingness.
How about you? What is your negative emotion that needs more Love?
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