“I am lazy. I am incapable of having a healthy relationship. I never finish the projects I start. I fail at everything I do. Things will never get better for me. I failed, and most likely, I will keep failing. I have no clue what to do with my life, and I will probably never be happy with myself.”
Did you resonate with some of the things above? Yes? Okay, this post is for you!
Those negative self-talk examples aren’t examples at all. Those are real core values I had about myself years ago. And while part of me still believes I am somehow lazy most of the time, I’ve managed to change the way I think about myself on every other point.
In this post, I will show you how to change the way you think about yourself, stop with the negative self-talk, start believing in yourself and change as a person…
The best I could do is touch on all these and show you that thinking negatively of yourself leads you nowhere. And while that’s not a surprise to you at all, the most important question you will find an answer to is How to stop being so harsh and horrible to yourself.
A Short Perosnal Story: The One Where I Am a Failure
It was the 17th of March 2018 – a sunny Saturday morning. We were supposed to have a barbecue in the afternoon, and I wanted to do a few extra things on my blog. My mother called me for a chat, and half an hour later, after ending the call with her, I started crying and weeping. I barely hold myself through the barbeque in the afternoon and spend the rest of the weekend (and the next few months) feeling sorry I had chosen this path in life.
I felt like a failure. I felt like I was wasting my time doing something I loved but was never bound actually to have the investment return – both financial and emotional. I knew I was faking that everything was fine, and I was caught lying.
It doesn’t matter what my mother told me. The reality was she spoke my thoughts out loud. And when someone else verbally confirms your biggest fears, they turn into a reality you cannot escape. I knew I wasn’t going to succeed in whatever I was doing. I wasn’t going to get where I wanted to. I didn’t know how, and I didn’t have the guts.
I was just a normal human being with low self-esteem and bad relationship experience trying to teach other people how to recognize toxic relationships and end them. That was all there was.
Fast forward, it’s August 2021, and I just opened my third blog, my second Youtube channel, hired a third person to work with me, and did a podcast on how to find happiness.
I feel confident in what I do. I know my stuff, and even if some things are out of my comfort zone, I look at them as opportunities to push my limits, get out there and challenge myself yet again.
Here’s how I did it, and here’s how you can do it too!
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How To Change Yourself Completely?
There is no magical pill that turned me from an insecure dreamer into a happy individual.
So, if you are here for such, keep browsing the web; I am sure someone somewhere will offer such a thing (real or not).
Change in the way you live your life happens thanks to the following specific ways to change the way you think about yourself and turn your life in the direction you want it to go.
Here’s the warning, though!
You have to work hard with yourself. The journey might be like a roller coaster, but there is an end to it, and if you hold your breath and don’t get off it, the ending will turn into a beautiful beginning for you.
On your way to that new life and better self, you will actually change your mindset. And I’ve talked about the 7 mindset changes you need to go through here, but today I dig deeper into the ways you should start treating yourself from inside out.
Let’s change you!
7 Gentle Ways To Change The Way You Think About Yourself
1. Self-compasion
I think it’s time you give up on the self-blame and the harsh self-treatment you keep giving yourself. Self-compassion is like being your best friend. It’s sitting down next to yourself (I know it sounds weird, but you get the point) and actually understanding the fundamental truth that nobody wants to accept: You are just a human!
More importantly, mistakes, failures, and frustrations are welcome in life because they make you a better person. They might not make you feel good about yourself, but they put the light on what doesn’t have a place in your life.
Have some self-understanding and self-empathy. You show them to others all the time; why would you be the exception? Don’t you deserve the love you give to others as well?
2. Self-Love
Once you are on the road to self-compassion, there is also self-love.
Imagine you stood in front of yourself when you were eight years old. Would you hold that child’s hand and tell her she is not worth it? Would you convince her she deserves no love and she made it that way?
Now, imagine you stood in front of yourself when you were 14 years old. Would you hold that teenager’s hand and tell her she’s ugly and is not doing enough? Of course, you won’t!
Because, from where you stand right now, you know you did the best you could when you were a child, a teenager… And you do your best today as well. In fact, by thinking about yourself as your younger version, you might suddenly realize you feel the love for You.
That child is still inside you. Treat her right, and she will bloom and give you the inspiration and excitement you need for the next step in changing the way you think about yourself.
But before that step, remember that self-love is at the beginning of everything good for you. Without having that type of love, you cannot engage yourself in giving any other kind of love to the people around you.
Self-love is a long journey, but it’s oh-so-rewarding.
Once you learn how it feels to value yourself, you will start noticing who doesn’t value you, and toxic people will just leave your life.
So next time you ask yourself why others are treating you bad remember to look in the mirror to see the first person who started it.
Get my e-book on 42 Ways To Love Yourself for just $5 by clicking here. I know it will help you more than you think you deserve.
3. Self-Belief
This might be one of the hardest things to do. You know I’m right because you get that anxious feeling you won’t make it happen every time you approach a situation. Something will go wrong. And if nothing goes wrong, you still expect it not to be real.
Too often, we don’t trust in ourselves because we don’t see proof that we are capable or good enough. That couldn’t be further from the truth because we all have our achievements, our tiny glorious moments. But we lose the memories of those by focusing on the negative.
It is way easier to pay full attention to everything that goes wrong than to admit we did something good and deserve praise.
So, how to enhance self-belief and self-trust?
I usually suggest using an affirmation you have to repeat to yourself until it becomes part of you, and then it becomes You.
I used to write in my journal a full page of self-belief affirmations. Every day I cultivated trust in myself for something different. Every sentence would start with “I believe…” and would proceed with everything I had doubts I could do. Try it for yourself.
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4. Trust in God/The Universe
Having that trust in the higher power above us is, in fact, so relieving. Knowing that everything depends on us, yet we would always need that last push from something bigger than us, feels like we are part of a team.
It’s not just you fighting for your happiness. There are numerous signs all around you that you are indeed loved, valued, and supported in any step you take.
Trust in that higher power and see how you get a beam of it in yourself too.
5. Open Your Mind For Everything New
New people, ideas, and experiences will enter your life. It will be messy, and you might even panic at some point. However, none of it is a reason good enough to give up on changing your life.
Many times, while trying to change the way you think about yourself, you might go through moments of doubt and confirmation that you still aren’t… good enough, well enough, beautiful enough, skinny enough, loved enough… Enough!
Those moments aren’t present to make you go back to how it was. They are here to test your will and bring the determination to the surface. Stay strong, open your mind, be stubborn about changing your thinking, and refuse to give up on the progress you’ve made so far.
6. This Too Shall Pass
Once upon a time, there was a mighty king. He was wise and humble, but he was also very emotional and would do irrational things. He wanted to have something that would keep him focused on what’s important at all times. So, he called all of his wise men and asked them to come up with a solution to his problem. He wanted an item that would remind him to stay humble when he is in his best moments and to have hope when things aren’t looking so good.
One of the wise men came back in a few days with a golden ring. On the inside of the ring, there was an engraved message: This too shall pass!
When you are lonely, depressed, sad, or just having a bad day, remember – This too shall pass!
When you are excited, and everything seems unbreakable, amazing, and you feel absolute happiness, be warned – This too shall pass!
Life is a chain of good and bad, and nothing can nor should change that. We grow at our darkest challenges, and we recharge with good memories and energy in our happiest days. Both are equally important for our personal growth. Welcome them.
7. Never Give Up
Oh, I wish I kept memos of all the times I wished I would just give up. But I didn’t! Partially because I had the support of my partner. Partially because I didn’t know what else I would enjoy doing. Partially because I was already infected with the vision of living my dream life. And partially because I knew that I could overcome every obstacle on my way.
Somewhere there, inside you, there is a tiny voice that keeps whispering that you are strong enough, good enough, and capable enough to do, achieve and be whatever you wish. Please, stay quiet for a moment and listen to that voice. Today. And then do it again tomorrow. And the after too.
Inside Of My Happiness Journal
Inside Of My Happiness | Journal for Living an Intentional Life
Scared of journaling?
Journaling has so many benefits, and you've always wanted to stick to it but never did. It looks and sounds complicated. You think that there are some rules you know nothing of and can't see the magic everyone talks of.
Inside of My Happiness is your go-to journal for the morning and the evening. Get inspired in the mornings, reflect on yourself in the evening. As simple as that.
Conclusion on How To Change The Way You Think About Yourself
Changing the way you see yourself and how you live your life isn’t easy nor pretty. But you know the journey awaits you, and you are somehow excited to hop on it. Use the momentum and do your best with it.
Write the affirmations, end the negative self-talk, see the problems as opportunities, and most of all – believe that if you are walking on that path, it is because you were meant to arrive somewhere. Aren’t you curious where?
Save this for later!
How to Change The Way You Think About Yourself
Blogger, dreamer, procrastinator, and lover of everything soul-touching. My mission is to make you laugh, provoke your thoughts, light up your day and inspire you to fall in love with life and yourself.
