3 Reasons Why Affirmations Don’t Work For You (Hint: It’s Your Fault!)

Can repeating a sentence or two truly make you motivated, inspired, and brave enough to pursue your dreams, goals, and ultimate happiness?

And if positive affirmations really work, why did they never work for you?

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Can positive affirmaitons change your life

Let me tell you a story…

It was 15 years ago when I first heard about affirmations. It must have been a book I read, but I cannot remember which one.

At that time, I was working in customer service in a bank, and I was the shyest person you’d ever met. I was supposed to meet my monthly targets and convince as many people as possible they needed credit cards (even if they didn’t). That’s how banks do.

But I was so shy to ask people if they wanted those products. I was shy to speak to them about anything, to be honest. They would ask a question I wasn’t sure about, and I would just freeze and wonder what to do.

It was at that point when I knew I needed to push myself “somehow” and be more confident and braver … “somehow“.

That “somehow” was a simple sentence I repeated myself every single morning on my way to work. I lived five minutes away from the office and was walking there. I would usually listen to an audiobook or some radio show. No more!

One morning, while walking, I started repeating a sentence silently in my mind. On that day, I had the intention to ask every client if they wanted to apply for a credit card, and I wasn’t going to feel like crying while doing it. It was just a question, and I was confident enough to ask it. I told myself I was confident enough to do it.

And then I repeated that to myself again and again. And again.

I formed a simple but powerful sentence in my head and kept repeating it in the rhythm of my steps.

Did I turned to be the best saleswoman in the bank?

Of course not! But the reason had nothing to do with my shyness.

You see, nothing remarkable happened on that day. Nor on the day after. I kept trying my best to ask clients questions and offer our products. I kept repeating the sentence in my mind every morning while walking to work. I kept pushing the positive words into my brain without a break.

And I slowly felt the breeze of a change. I held my head up a little bit more while walking; my shoulders were straight, my walk – more confident. I realized that my mindset had changed, and my body language had followed shortly after.

I stopped worrying about whether I would meet my targets because it felt more important to know that offering chains to people who already struggled wasn’t the thing I could do.

People around me started noticing how much happier I became, and I even got asked on a date a few times. That was truly surprising.

Why positive affirmations don’t always work?

I know what you think! If it were so easy just to repeat the sentence for things to start happening, there wouldn’t be so many controversial opinions on this subject.

Yet, there are.

And you’ve got the right to worry if investing your time and energy in repeating affirmations daily is worth it.

I’ve thought about this more than once. The reason? I’ve tried a few different affirmations, and most of them didn’t do the trick.

Why was that?

What was the difference between my first affirmation for boosting confidence and the others that followed? Why couldn’t I repeat the process again and again? I knew I’d found a magic spell, but how could I make it work every single time?

With time, I’ve discovered three reasons why positive affirmations don’t always work for me, and I will share them with you below. Those might be your reasons as well.

Reason affirmations don’t work: I had no clarity on what I wanted

When I first approached the world of affirmations, I knew exactly what I wanted and needed. I had to become a calmer and more confident person who doesn’t shy away from asking simple questions and handling the rejection afterward (if such happened).

My affirmation was built to serve every aspect of the clear vision I had in my mind.

However, when I decided to repeat the process with something else, I went for the first thing that popped into my head.

I wasn’t picky with “the dream”. I just grabbed the first thought and decided to experiment with it. That isn’t how things happen, though.

Reason affirmations don’t work: I didn’t actually want what I wanted

And because I just picked the first thing that popped into my head, that meant I didn’t think it through. I wasn’t sure how the result would look, so I didn’t create an affirmation that would reflect that result.

And finally…

Reason affirmations don’t work: I didn’t put the passion in

The affirmations didn’t work because I didn’t put the work in. And the work is as follows:

• Be sure what you want!
• Have the result clear in your mind!
• Be sure it is what you want!
• Have the passion to really want it!
• Be persistent in your pursue of it!

Yes, I know I put “be sure what you want” twice. I was intentional; thank you so much!

Can positive affirmations change your life?

Let me brag a little more about it and say it like that: No positive change pushed from the external world could change your life.

Affirmations cannot do “the magic” for you because they aren’t magic at all. They are carefully designed sequences of words you have personally chosen to reflect the reality you want to live in. By repeating them out loud, writing them down daily, or whispering them silently in your mind, you teach your brain to “see” a different reality that already exists. You also re-program your mind to believe that this new “you” exists. With time and unconscious change in the behavior, you slowly become the “new you”.

And to top it up, it all starts with your heart and your true desires.

No positive affirmation will work if you haven’t reached “the point of exhaustion”. What is that?

The success stories…

There is a term I’ve come up with over the years of observing myself, people around me, and reading many personal success stories.

Have you seen The Pursuit of Happyness? Of course, you have! It is an iconic movie telling the true story of Chris Garnder – a man who went from having nothing to becoming one of the best stockbrokers. His story is so inspiring and remarkable that it still warms viewers’ hearts and inspires them to truly re-think their own “happyness”.

Let’s leave Gardner’s story aside and talk about Ed Sheeran. Before he became one of the most successful singers of our time, he was struggling for an extended period of time. He was even homeless for many nights and slept in Underground train stations or heating vents around London.

What about J.K Rowling? A single mom who wrote one of the best book sequences of all time while trying to support her child and make ends meet? She got rejected by more publishing houses than you and I can ever imagine applying to, battled depression, and still made it out on the other end, being more successful than ever imagined.

The point of exhastion!

I can go on and on with stories like these, but you’ve heard enough. Did you notice it?

The “point of exhaustion”?

It is the point where it feels like you have to give up because you have no chance of becoming or being who you want to be or at least “anything” better than you are today.

It is the last dark street you have to walk through before enjoying the fireworks.

“The point of exhaustion” isn’t always movie-worthy.

It isn’t about being homeless or struggling with paying your rent. The “point of exhaustion” is when you are so fed up with where you are that you decide to make the big change and follow through with it. It is when you realize that you have and want nothing else but to become/have/create whatever is on your mind.

Once you hit that point, there are no barriers in front of you, and everything you do is dedicated to the result you want and nothing more.

Positive affirmations and You

Now, I have no clue if J.K Roling used affirmations before mailing each letter to the publishing houses. And I don’t know what Chris Gardner’s thoughts were while holding his son in his arms on those cold nights they spent homeless.

But I can bet that they saw no other way out of their situation but the one they were on.

And this is exactly why affirmations work for some people and do nothing for others.

So, if you wish to repeat a pretty sentence every day on your way to work – do so.

But be sure you know what you want, and you want it bad enough to reject every other options life might throw at you.

Because if you are willing to let go of your dreams and ideas, then they have no reason to become present in your life at all.

And once you have it all nicely connected in your mind and heart, it is time you build that one sequence of words you want to turn into a reality.

Instead of Conclusion

I always strongly recommend people write and put together their own affirmations. But just as it is with most people in life, a little push and a pinch of inspiration are always welcome.

Therefore, I’ve got more than a few sets of affirmations you could get inspired by (or use as they are). Here’s the list:

• Positive affirmaitons for change and accepting change
• Powerful affirmaitons for self-confidence
• Morning affirmations for having a great day
• Self-care and self-love affirmations
• Affirmaitons for happiness and inner peace

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Can Affirmations Change Your Life? 3 Reasons They Never Worked For You