We all go through challenges at some point in our lives. Times get tough, even for the best of us. But what helps us overcome those challenges are the people around us. Family and friends play a huge role in helping us restore our well-being.
Take, for example, the time when I was going through a breakup. My ex-boyfriend and I were together for more than six years. After he cheated on me with my best friend, we broke up, and I was left heartbroken to deal with the consequences of his actions.
But if it weren’t for my best friend Irma, I wouldn’t have been able to get back up and get over it. She helped me go through one of the hardest periods of my life.
So if you have a person in your life that you would like to help, this article is for you. Based on my personal experience, here are some suggestions on how to make someone feel better when they’re going through difficulties.
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1. Ask Them What They Need
Before you try to help your friend, you need to ask yourself – do they really need advice, or do they just want someone to listen to them? Don’t just assume they need guidance or direction. Only if they ask you for your opinion, you shall give it.
Ask them if they want any help at all. If they don’t…just listen. That’s usually more than enough to make someone feel better. I assume that you probably already know the solution to their problem. But don’t try to solve it unless you’re specifically asked to do so.
If you truly want your friend to be happy and realize that everything will be just fine, you need to be there for them while they figure out these things on their own.
2. Distract Them From The Situation
If your friend is going through a difficult situation, chances are they’re constantly thinking about it. They’re also probably experiencing loads of anxiety. Therefore, one of the best ways to make someone smile is to distract them from whatever’s going on.
Don’t let them fight their demons on their own. Do things with them. Pick up a new hobby together, take them out for dinner, or go on a weekend getaway. Choose something light and entertaining, such as going to the cinema, visiting the zoo, or simply staying home and starting a new series on Netflix.
In that case, distractions are your friend. Free their mind from negative thoughts by not letting them think those thoughts in the first place. Allow your friend to have the dopamine boost they need so bad.
3. Give Lots of Positive Reinforcement
When I was going through the breakup I told you about earlier; I couldn’t see any light at the end of the tunnel. I thought that my life sucks, that I would probably die alone, and I would never find a man to love me for who I truly am. Those thoughts surrounded me every second of my days.
I couldn’t see anything positive in the world. But Irma was there to remind me that things are not all bad. I still had my job, I was young, beautiful, and smart, and as much as I refused to see it, I was actually a likable person. She told me that any guy would be lucky to have me and that I should focus on the positive.
And believe me when I tell you, her words helped me so much. And that’s why you should do the same – remind your friend that life is beautiful and that they have a lot to be happy about. Tell them to stay on a positive note. Everybody has hard moments, but it’s a choice to how we react to them. Embrace their inner light and show them how different things are in reality.
4. Encourage Them To Talk About It
When a person is going through challenges, they need to speak up their mind about it. Otherwise, the negative emotions will pile up and explode in the worst possible way. Only by talking about their feelings can they overcome the difficulties.
Of course, I’m not saying you should force your friend to tell you all that’s going on in their minds. Give them time to assimilate the situation, and when they’re ready, be there for them to talk it over.
Some people don’t feel comfortable sharing their deepest fears with their closest people. And if that’s the case, you should encourage them to start going to therapy. Remind them that nothing can compare to professional help, and it’s recommended to start therapy even if it’s just for a short time.
5. Get Them A Journal
A great way to cope with emotions is to write them down. And anybody who has kept a journal knows it. If you want to cheer someone up, get them something small but practical to incorporate into their daily lives. So why not make it a journal where they can express their emotions?
Psychologists recommend keeping a journal for a reason. It’s a great way to reflect, and by making a habit out of it, you can improve your life drastically. That’s why if you want to help your friend by giving them something that they will use, get them a journal.
Inside Of My Happiness Journal
Inside Of My Happiness | Journal for Living an Intentional Life
Scared of journaling?
Journaling has so many benefits, and you've always wanted to stick to it but never did. It looks and sounds complicated. You think that there are some rules you know nothing of and can't see the magic everyone talks of.
Inside of My Happiness is your go-to journal for the morning and the evening. Get inspired in the mornings, reflect on yourself in the evening. As simple as that.
6. Take Care Of Them
If you know somebody in a difficult situation, help them with whatever chores they need help with. For example, do their grocery shopping, have a sleepover, cook them a meal, and help declutter the house. They need to feel like they’re not alone. And they need to feel like somebody is taking care of them.
Keep in mind that not everybody will openly ask for help. But you need to see past that. Do stuff for them without it being an official request. While shopping for your own house, buy things for them as well and don’t make a big deal about it so that they don’t feel bad.
A great way to cheer a friend up is to organize a sleepover at your house. Make them change their environment, even if it’s just for a day. Cook dinner together, open a bottle of wine and take care of them by listening to what they have to say.
7. Help Them Cope With Their Anger
When people are experiencing challenges, they usually ask themselves, “Why me? What did I do to deserve this”. This kind of thinking leads to negative emotions such as confusion, sadness, low self-esteem, and sometimes even anger. And that’s completely normal. If your friend is going through a similar situation, let them express those emotions.
However, they should also figure out a way to cope with the anger. The anger shouldn’t consume them because it could have a negative effect on their mental health. But that’s why they have you, right? To help them cope with it.
The best way to do that is to figure out activities that encourage letting go of anger. For example, take them to an escape room or simply smash some plates together. They need to literally let their anger out to the world instead of keeping it in them.
8. Encourage them to exercise
Physical exercise has a positive impact on mental health overall wellbeing. And it’s especially important during those dark periods of our lives. It’s what makes us feel alive, and it also boosts our dopamine levels in the brain.
Staying home and feeling sorry about ourselves won’t help us. That’s why if your friend stays home a bit too much, you should take them out to the gym for a workout. Even better – go on a hike and breathe some fresh air. I guarantee you that will help them.
9. Check On Them During The Day
When I was going through the breakup, I found little to be happy about in life. But a simple “How are you?” text did wonders. I loved receiving short cute messages from my friends and family. That made me feel like they really cared about me and that I wasn’t alone.
And you should do the same for your friend. I know that life can get busy sometimes, and you sometimes forget to check up on them, but it’s important to do so. You can’t imagine how much better that will make them feel.
If you tend to forget to check up or simply don’t have much time, then set the alarm to remind you to do so – easy but effective.
10. Encourage Them To Take It Easy
When people are struggling with life’s issues, they shouldn’t put too much pressure on themselves. They need to give themselves time to heal. And I speak from experience here. I used to be really hard on myself, constantly striving for perfection. The interesting part was that I developed FOMO (fear of missing out).
But that didn’t help me overcome my problems. In fact, it made me feel even more stressed. So if someone you know is putting too much pressure on themselves, you need to remind them that this will negatively affect their life in the long run.
Tell them to cancel non-critical plans, to focus on themselves, to stop rushing, and just to take some time off and relax. This is crucial when it comes to overcoming challenges.
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How To Make Someone Feel Better
Blogger, dreamer, procrastinator, and lover of everything soul-touching. My mission is to make you laugh, provoke your thoughts, light up your day and inspire you to fall in love with life and yourself.
